Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
