we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
