I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
