Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
