i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
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