just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
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