Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
