no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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