The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
