So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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