at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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