all she had left on were here heels. phone five
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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