Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I can't turn off my feet"
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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