I'm going to jail i love you
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
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