There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I wish you could order shots online.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
