is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
areolas are like halos for boobs.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
