he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Randomize
