Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
So much Jack, so little girl.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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