I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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