and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
