Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
