I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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