Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
