Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
now i know why i became what i already was.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Randomize
