is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
