Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
