At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
