she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
