Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
