It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
