I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Just pee around me
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
