at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
