I wish I could teleport
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
