I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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