I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
