so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
She bit a glass in half.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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