Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
