i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
