Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
