No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
