Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
