also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
