i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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