No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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