Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
