so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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