apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
do herpes really smell.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
