Having a random hookup so left but love u
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Randomize
