I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
