Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
